You're My Will To Live
by hashtagartistlife
Summary: Pt. 1: It's the end of the world as they know it, and Natsu and Happy decide strip poker is the best way to go. Pt. 2: And for the briefest second: Lucy, a little older, her beautiful blonde hair cut short, with a pink-haired, brown-eyed, mischievous looking child in her arms. Her child. Their child. [Nalu]
1. Chapter 1

**Snogfairy and Toxineena (both on tumblr) wrote Lucy-centric strip-poker drabbles after chapter 453 came out, so I decided to write a Natsu-centric version to complete the set.**

* * *

 **You're My Will To Live, pt. 1**

by _hashtagartistlife_

The world was ending, and Lucy Heartfilia apparently wanted to spend her last night on earth reading.

Okay, slight amendment: the world wasn't ending. Not exactly. Not yet. At least, he didn't think so. The First's account of her life and Zeref's motivations was long-winded and full of bombshell revelations, and somewhere in there he had heard Zeref was out to destroy the world, but not before he could get his hands on Fairy Heart and destroy their guild first.

So: the world wasn't ending, not quite yet. But it still could be their last night on earth, and Lucy was reading.

Natsu just didn't understand that girl sometimes.

"Strip poker! Strip poker, Natsu! Come on, sit down already so I can deal out your hand!"

"Yeah, in a minute, Happy," he replied absentmindedly, eyes still roaming over the figure of the girl on her bed, happily engrossed in a book. They traced up the long lines of her legs, swept over her lithe torso, along the curve of her shoulders and finally settled on her face, lips upturned in a half-smile and brown eyes shining at something in her book. The soft lighting in her room made her blonde hair look like a halo around her face.

She was so beautiful.

"Wanna play?" he blurted out before thinking, and held his breath as those pretty, pretty eyes turned in his direction. Lucy pursed her lips and tapped her chin with a finger, apparently thinking about it.

"Poker? Or strip poker?" she asked, eyes narrowing, and Natsu grinned roguishly.

"Strip poker, of course! Where's the fun in normal poker?"

"In the look on your opponent's face as they realise you've totally _creamed_ them," Lucy said, laughing, and Natsu was momentarily mesmerised by the way her lips parted to frame her laughter. "And if it's strip poker, I'm not playing against you or Happy! Happy only wears a vest and you've got a lot more layers on than me right now, so it's not fair."

"I think Lucy's scaaaaaared," came the voice of the blue exceed from behind him, and Natsu mentally high-fived his tiny companion. Lucy just snorted.

"As if I'd fall for that, stupid cat. Who was it that crawled into my bed the last time there was a thunderstorm and you guys were sleeping on my couch?"

"That wasn't because I was scared! Natsu snores!"

"I do not!" What a ridiculous fucking accusation. Dragonslayers didn't do anything as undignified as snore in their sleep.

"Well, nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You guys play if you want," Lucy said loftily, and resolutely turned back to that book of hers. A vein twitched in Natsu's forehead. The world was ending, and he was second-best to a damn book?

"Fine, we will! And we won't let you play with us later on even if you beg!" he said, sticking his tongue out at her. Lucy just waved a hand at him.

Natsu sat down on her floor, internally shaking his head and smiling. She never changed, that girl. It was just so her to curl up with a nice book on the eve of the apocalypse and refuse strip poker (even though he'd already seen her naked, like, how many times now?) and lecture him about planting 'death flags'. She hadn't even wanted to hear what he was going to say to her after that, for fear it would jinx them or some such thing.

Of course, he understood her concerns. He did stupid things and said stupid things, but that didn't make him stupid. He knew she was just worried about the war tomorrow – heck, he was worried about the war tomorrow – and if anything would make it less dangerous for them out there, even if it was a silly superstition, she would stick to it like glue. That was just Lucy.

Him, he didn't give a crap about death flags, or foreshadowing or whatever other literary things Lucy came up with to describe their situation. If all his friends planted a million death flags tonight, he would break them all down. If there were a million pages of foreshadowing telling of his friends' deaths, he would rip them out and shred them. If fate itself ordained someone had to lose their life to secure their victory, he would crush fate and redesign it. They were fighting to live, not to win, and victory made no sense if it came with a sacrifice of his friends' lives. That was just how he was.

So he would keep his plans for a happy future to himself if it would appease Lucy, but he let them run wild in his head. Because the future was what sustained him; the future was what gave him strength. A future where the guild was safe, where his friends could live and laugh and fall in love in peace, and most of all, a future where Lucy was alive beside him. The future was his will to live.

 _She_ was his will to live, and he would let her know this as soon as the war finished.


	2. Chapter 2

**Nanakoblaze on tumblr drew the most beautiful picture of Natsu fighting, thinking of his future with Lucy, and I got inspired enough to do a sort-of continuation of the previous drabble.**

* * *

 **You're My Will To Live, pt. 2**

by _hashtagartistlife_

The air was thick with smoke and blood. Natsu coughed, and liquid spurted out and oozed its way down his chin. He couldn't tell anymore if it was blood or the remnants of that wretched swamp he had nearly drowned in a few hours ago. Everything was blurring before his eyes, and he was barely standing. He had no idea where his comrades were, and that was probably for the best. He couldn't let them see him like this.

He couldn't let them see him die.

"Surely you're not done now, Natsu. Don't disappoint me. I created you so you could destroy me. You're stronger than _this._ " The mocking voice curled itself round Natsu's ears, and he shuddered, wondering how on earth he was related to– to _this_. To _this_ mage, madness coiling in his dark eyes, evil swirling around him like a cloak made of shadows. To the man currently slaughtering his family (not him, not him, never him, his family was _Fairy Tail_ ) like it was nothing. Like it was a pastime, just something to quell his boredom with life.

Zeref smiled, showing perfect, even white teeth.

"Have you given up already? How boring. This life has made you soft, Natsu. Frankly, you were much more terrifying a hundred years ago, before Igneel and I sealed you away. I'd deemed you incomplete, then; you still needed more growth before you could defeat me. But now…. I don't think even a million years of growth would grant you the strength necessary to beat me now."

"Fuck– you–" Natsu choked out, and even that small exertion had him swaying, threatening to topple over. Zeref threw his head back and _laughed._

"Oh, little brother! Is that any way to talk to your nii-san?"

 _Fuck_. Natsu's legs gave out, and he collapsed forward onto his knees. His chest was tight, and he felt faint. He wasn't going to last much longer. His mind was hazy, and the only thing he could think of was that he was so, so glad that he had left Happy with Lucy because it meant he was _safe_.

Unlike him.

"Really, Natsu. That guild has done nothing but hold you back from your true potential. You would have fared much better than this had you not gotten in the way of my swamp spell and taken that black-haired brat's place – what was her name, Wendy? Well, whatever. The point is, you're weak, and your attachments to these _friends_ of yours is making you weaker."

"Not… true…" Natsu managed, before even his arms gave way beneath him and he ended up completely sprawled in the mud. Zeref looked down at him with pity.

"Pathetic. Look at you, my strongest demon, sharing blood with the most powerful black mage in existence. The only reason you're dying at my feet is because of your delusions of _love_. Let go of them, and you still might have a chance to defeat me."

"Go to hell."

" _Send me there!_ " Zeref shouted, his composure slipping for the first time since he had faced off with Natsu. "That's what I _created_ you for, brother! Defeat me. Kill me! Cast your shackles of bonds aside. They're only repressing your demon powers! Get rid of love, and you'll be able to beat me! Love brings only pain and misery. Get rid of it, and _kill me!_ "

Natsu would have answered him, but he didn't think he had the strength to open his mouth. Zeref kept talking, ranting on about how he had to cut his ties to his friends to access his true power, but Natsu was not paying attention. His vision flickered and split, blackening at the edges, and he could feel his consciousness slipping away, and even the pain from his numerous wounds were dulling now. It would be so easy to just slip away, like falling asleep – just close his eyes, and he would leave his body behind, leave his life behind…

Leave his _future_ behind.

"…and if you won't do it, brother, if you're not strong enough to get rid of your bonds, rest assured I'll do it for you, starting with that blue cat of yours and your little blonde friend, what was her name, Lucy–?"

Natsu's eyes snapped open.

"I… forgot…" he said, before planting his foot down and struggling onto his knees. Zeref stopped mid-rant, and looked down at him with incredulous eyes.

"You…. you were dying," he said quietly, "your spirit… it was on the verge of flying away. You shouldn't be able to move with those wounds, anyway. What… is happening?"

"I'm _remembering_ ," Natsu replied, and now he was back on his feet, bowed over with his hands still on his knees, and shaking like a leaf in the wind, but he was _standing_ , and the pain wasn't so bad anymore, and his vision was coming back clearer than ever because he _remembered_ – "I… have a future to live for…. and I won't let anyone take it away from me. Not you. Not the entire continent of Aracitacia. And not even death itself. I'm going to _live_."

Zeref snapped his jaw shut, before levelling his staff at Natsu's chest once more. "Fine words, brother, but in order to do that you need to defeat me, and you have no hope of doing so while still repressing your demon side. You seem to have no inclinations to get rid of your love, so how do you plan on doing that?"

"Hell'f I know," Natsu said, and now his voice was steady, and his shaking was subsiding, and there was something warm in his chest that was keeping him standing – "but if I die, Happy… Lucy… all the others… you'll kill them, right? I wasn't thinking straight. I can't just die on my own. I'm gonna protect them all."

Flames started licking along his arms, and Natsu let them burn, let the heat spread over his shoulders and down his back and wreathe him in a deadly halo. The warmth in his chest _burned_ , and he could feel the strength running back to his limbs, and he didn't understand what was happening exactly but he knew _why_ it was happening. He laughed, and Zeref took an involuntary half-step back.

"You can't defeat me!" he yelled, struggling to be heard over the sound of whipping wind as Natsu's flames superheated the air around him. "Not without resorting to the one magic! And you'll never be able to do that without letting go of your attachments! The one magic is curses, based on hatred and isolation, and it's not something you can use in your state!"

"You're _wrong_ ," Natsu said, and as he spoke he could hear Lucy – _Lucy_ – speaking the words along with him in his head, bolstering his resolve, lending him strength. "The one magic is _love_. It's what's always pulled us through before, the love we have for each other. It's _because_ I love people that I have a future to live for, and that's why I can't die here. Not yet. I have a future to protect. And that's why I'm going to _beat you_."

Zeref looked at him for a long moment, then–

"You can say that, but you can barely stand," he said softly, and gripped his staff with both hands. "Well then, brother, come. Let us end this. I will annihilate you, and the guild, and prove your theory _wrong_."

Natsu closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Visions of the future tumbled through his mind like a waterfall, images of Erza smiling and Wendy laughing and Gray with his arm around Juvia. Him fighting Laxus and Gildarts and Gajeel, and finally being promoted to an S-class mage. Happy eating fish and Lucy smiling and Lucy writing and Lucy publishing a book and Lucy in a wedding dress and Lucy, Lucy, _Lucy_ –

And for the briefest second: Lucy, a little older, her beautiful blonde hair cut short, with a pink-haired, brown-eyed, mischievous looking child in her arms. Her child. _Their_ child.

It was time to end this.

The heat in his chest rose to a crescendo, and Natsu gathered every scrap of love he felt for his comrades into his fist and _lunged._


End file.
